Birds Don't Have Ears

I walked down the path illuminated by God's lovely moonlight. The stars and the shiny ground stood still as I walked between them, offering neither my heart nor my thoughts. For below me was the grounded realization that I was now older, less wiser, and more immature, and above me was clouded judgment.

"I want my love to be my best friend," the kangaroo told me.

Now you don't know the kangaroo. In fact, many do not. We all just pretend to.

I said, "I don't mind not having love. I am enjoying my moment of solitude."

Though, was I truly enjoying it? Or had I given up on the Utopian vision of a best friend so perfect... that friend would be your true love.

My head was in the sky like the many who thought they knew the kangaroo. Immaturity granted me my answers. It granted me my connections. It denied my growth. The kangaroo offered his dilemma, and I offered my own. Strange.

It was the kiss that brought me back, like a reverse knockout. The Kangaroo's boxing glove nicely fastened, was ready to grant me the kiss that would wake me from the dead.

I have dreamed this kiss often. How do you react? What do you do?

Do you leave the place that grants you happiness? Do you stay in the place that makes you jaded? Do you fall somewhere in between the sky and the ground, and walk with the hope that the path illuminated before you leads you back to your true love?

Or have you forgotten? Is it solitude or separation?

ground or sky?

pride or desperation?

you or the person they see?

funeral or celebration?

Are you a kangaroo? Or are you a bird?

Strangely Different, Definitely Familiar

Back on Campus.

The Definite

It's good to be back.
People are still who they are.
I love hugs.
Scooby

The Strange

Not being a UGA anymore.
My friend's mustache.
I love the technology.
Sonic

The Different

I have entirely new responsibilities, yet I know I am ready.
Food is right around the corner.

The Familiar

I know this place so well, yet I know I may have to leave it.
The cold air bites my skin.

Du!

The Way I Du/Summer Luvin It Interlude (ft. Sir Silly Person and Madam Miscellaneous)

I bring you to today. The funny thing about today is as you are reading this, you are in your own today with many new adventures and exciting musings. Still, humor me a bit and read on. For my today, unlike all other todays, is about an entire summer. Now there's a day.

• In the span of 8 weeks I have seen 15 NEW movies in the theaters. I have also seen numerous DVDs and TV movies.

• I began playing Persona 3, beat Harry Potter, recently beat lair, and I have played tons of Warhawk. Tomorrow I will hopefully be getting Heavenly Sword. I have also gotten into Motorstorm, and re-beat Prince of Persia today. I also like Tekken now, go fig.
  

• I have bought a PSP and I have abused the Remote Play feature. I have also gotten pretty far in Burnout Legends, have yet to complete Tomb Raider Legend, and have given up on Crush many many weeks ago. Sims 2 on the other hand has become a game I cannot put down once I start playing.
  

• I have finished the Harry Potter series. I'm glad it's over, but was not very fulfilled with the ending. It was a decent series, but it makes me curious what the next big thing is.

• Work was definitely a highlight of the summer. I had lots of fun, and did lots of work. I'm excited to see what the future possibilities are.
  

• I have finished my 50 page preview book for Tales, and look forward to working on the illustrated book. I already have mock up designs for some of the creatures.
  

That's all I can think of for now. We'll just call this an open post, and I'll add to it later on. Or not. We'll see.

- * < 0 M

In Fall 2006 I launched "impact!" It was a show that combined everything and everything and sought to give artists a voice. The marketing campaign came in the form of two cryptic "i's" People would ask me, what does "i!" mean, what is "i, exclaimation point?" It was successful in raising questions and bringing about curiosity. Today, I honor you with a similar image. Except this time, it is in another language. Ladies and gentlemen, the first mock up for the image you will see when you first see Tales. Happy thinking.

Through Those I's

What would you say to me if I were too blind to find the fault in wanting what's mine? How could you fault my bitter statements if you truly wished to make me happy? Interesting, is it not, that I am so within that without you I will ignite in flames, yet all I see are the burns and scars from my enemies. I find them wrong. I am right, and I... I... I...

I know what my heart tells me and it has infested my mind. My thoughts take me places dark, and I love it. I love it that I want us to be together, and nothing anyone will say will make me see my partner's fault. Despite this, I doubt myself. I question if what my enemies say is true. But how silly, they only wish to take away my happiness. They only wish to keep me trapped.

Though. Can I be honest with you?

As I read this, something within me is crying. Maybe I have ignored them, those allies. They have been telling me. They have always been telling me, but my heart has hid them. My heart has convinced me that they truly understand. No one understands though. No one feels what I feel for this person.

I'm so angry, I'm smiling. I'm so confused, my vision is clear. I'm so... I'm so... I... I... I...

Don't know what to feel anymore, so I will tell them all I'm waiting.

Child's Soul

There was a moment when the fires of my heart seemed frozen in time. The temperature refused to go down. The flame refused to die out, and yet somehow time had beaten it.

At one time I had believed that the secret to divine riches or what some would call happiness, lay in the palms of my own child's children. It brought crystal tears to my eyes to envision this luxurious fantasy.

From a single rag to the richest breath, I had declared what would be the one thing to heal all. Do you not find it amusing, that the richest boy on earth has overlooked the greatest detail?

That fire, that fantasy, and that breath of fresh air had already been born.

She is not my child. She is my sister's.

When I look into her eyes, the word "problem" seems as distant to me as the earthworm in the sky....

There are no earthworms in the sky.

When she smiles, I forget that I am not in love. I forget that the flame is frozen. I forget that "the one" exists for the small moment. I have fallen for her trance. It is a comforting trance.

It is a comforting smile.

When she screams her terrible cry and punches me with her tiny little fist, I quickly remember what I told my friends.

"I want to be the best grandpa on earth."

Silly, because now more than ever, I want to be the best father on earth first.

The Author

A Starlit Gaze & the Tale of an Owl’s Search for the Sun

Glistening stars in a midnight sky is what I see when I return to the ground. I push myself beyond the boundaries of imagination and soar to the sky planting accomplishments disguised as bright stars. It seems, the only limit I’ve set for myself is my own personal values, based on the beliefs of serving God and ultimately humankind. My main motivation is to learn and gain something valuable wherever I go. The best feeling of all, is coming back down and admiring the beauty of the stars. Becoming a renaissance man is not an easy task. Despite all my skills and talents, a couple of years ago I could see myself saying, “Damn, I have English!” in a very “Mersault” type of way. Funny thing is, I would not have known that Mersault was the main character of a great existentialist book called “The Stranger” or that this book would put my skills and talents to a test like no other. All I saw then was that as a Muslim student learning Existentialism in a Catholic School, it was absurd to the point of being comical to begin my search for a sense of belonging.

My curiosity led me straight to McDonald’s for a slice of pizza and then to joining a Christian Choir. Not embracing my usual rebel persona, I kept quiet and did what I was told to do. Soon, I became a lot more involved. I was enjoying myself. At the McDonald’s Gospel Competition I realized that my values were as close to theirs as a woven web. At the time, I thought it shouldn’t matter if I wanted to read about a teenager in tights swinging around town and calling himself Spider-man. For once I was in my own realm, a paradise filled with mutants, genetic super-heroes, and political/moral lessons. However, I realized something valuable when we started to pray. I realized that I was here for a reason, and though I was one voice, each and every single voice mattered. Choir was about praising God and thanking him. Later that night, I used every ounce of talent I had in me and I’m proud to say, we came in first at the competition.

I’ve done crazy things before and I’ve joined numerous clubs, but with Robotics I could have sworn I was setting myself up for an entrance with nothing on but underwear and blushing cheeks of embarrassment. Robotics is a technology program that requires students to build a robot within a 6 week period. You then compete in Regional and National Competitions. During the 6-week building process, I worked in spite of feeling like Robin, Batman’s lackey, standing next to a fellow student who obviously knew more than I did. I just followed orders. I told myself, I can’t just stand around doing things without knowing what this is about. Throughout the years I made sure I was fulfilling my role as the inquisitive sidekick, even if I was saying zany things like “Holy wires and gears Batman! Putting in a certain program code makes the Robot turn left!” Winning on that competition day made me so proud of myself. I was extremely glad I was persistent. Over time I progressed from member, to electrical leader, to Co-Captain, to the Rice High School Steel Raiders Robotics Captain.

The bullet time sensation of being in Ghana this summer for 5 weeks was far more exhilarating than actually seeing a guy in shades and a trench-coat running along walls, shooting, and reloading all in one motion. It was incredible because I am African. I was born there. I came to the United States when I was four. However, when I went back to Africa, I did not know where I belonged. The Africans treated me like an American, and here I was, one of the few black people amidst a predominately white group. Yet, I was a whole lot more at ease with the white folks than my own people. However, for now, I was jumping in pools, helping to build schools, dancing, singing, laughing, mingling, bargaining with taxi drivers and souvenir sellers, living with strangers; they’re great story tellers, seeing great things from beaches to ships, and loving every single moment of it. Unfortunately, 5 weeks in bullet time goes a lot faster than one may think.

The future is here and my world has changed more dramatically than ever before. Today I am a Studio Art Major who may work for Goldman Sachs. Drawing & finance is not the story you want to tell the starving artists. I was neither Muslim nor the alternative when I made my way to Morocco. Yet here I am with beliefs more strengthened. I was the untrained dancer who grew in the ranks in the Sheba Hip Hop Dance Troupe. I made the iMPACT! I have always dreamed of by combining art, dance, drama, animation, and poetry in one giant showcase. I gave artists a voice. I gave myself a voice. And now I intend to share that voice and give the audience a world they have never seen before through my Tales.

I flew and as I came back to the ground with an incredibly cheesy smile on my face, I am searching still. Regardless of what I find, I know I’ll make the most of it. It is good to go looking so that one day I can return with something that might not be an answer, but still something for my next journey. The next place I’m aiming for is college. Even if I don’t discover what belonging is, I will find something valuable there. Fortunately, though I can play the Jack of all Trades, it doesn’t mean I’m the master of none. I use my gifts wherever I go, I use my spiritual values to remain patient and peaceful, and I use my curious and stubborn mind to fly, plant stars, and come back down to admire them.

"Now, There's A Slinger!"

This is a little thing I drew combining Spider-Man and Dante, per my agreement with a friend. I wish I had a better camera or at least a scanner, but you'll have to live with it for now.

In other news. It's revelation day.

The book will be called Tales. It follows the life of Aceun as he prepares and engages the coming of the second war. It will be NINE instead of TEN parts as previously stated, divided into three books.

This is a very ambitious project. My preview book is complete. I am fine tuning things here and there, but the writing process has already begun. The first chapter is well on its way. My culminating experience for my final year at Dartmouth will be an illustrated book of all the characters throughout the entire story.

Very soon I will reveal "The Author" which is my life story in one uniquely told package. It's been a long long time. The moments are finally approaching. Spades out.

If I Could Hurt A Man

I sat there and instantly realized what was happening. Somehow my mind's pain was being manifested into physical pain. My emotional pain was being manifested into spiritual pain. Every ounce of my body was slipping into a river of blood. I was barely breathing. Did you know that I cannot swim?

I knew when the world tilted that something was wrong. My saliva rushed from the back of my mouth with blazing speeds, burning the roof of my mouth, and singing the front of my teeth. The more spit I swallowed, the more the fiery fiend returned to the tip of my tongue.

My cheeks became numb from the heat, and my head began to empathize. Once warm like a loved one's soft touch, now became a pan so red from sitting on the stove... for decades and decades.

My stomach gripped with intensity, refusing to let go. It begged me to feed it knowing very well it would not be satisfied. The food would taste like poison. The slimy water would slip down my throat infesting it with toxic. Yet, what could I do when even the air I felt became thicker than Rastafarian hair. I looked at it and ate it. I ate poison.

The smell was horrid. I watched my skin as the bumps became alive. Every single pore screamed in agony. Pains from years ago resurfaced. Scars long gone reappeared. My mind and my body cried in horrific harmony. My heart knew that it was not strong enough to contain what would come.

I wanted to faint. If the pain would stop, let me faint. It did not. It became worse, forcing me to think about my actions.

I apologized. Never again will I think about hurting another human being.

If this is what it feels like to think about it, I will never put myself in a position where I will do it.

If I could hurt a man, then I am not the man I know am.

Those Choice Words

The life of destiny is an interesting one. Through masks of secrecy, only one person holds the truth. That is yourself. The hearsay and what I say to you is all a part of a game. We all think we know each other well, and how we can corner each other. What we do is corner ourselves, we place ourselves in a trap that we setup, and our arrogance denies us the vision to see the simple truth. We made the story. We made the villains. Both are a lie.

So what is our choice. Do we open our eyes? Do we listen more? All that is blasphemous. We are right. They are wrong. And there is nothing you can say otherwise. I know what I feel. I know what you feel. And no one knows, but I am truly right. Everyone lies.

Then, there is the final word. Something is said.

There is much truth in the statement, but it is shrouded in its mystery. It denies us knowledge of the motive. But because we are all winners at this game, we already know. We know what side everyone has taken. The pieces are set. The game begins.