If I Could Hurt A Man
I sat there and instantly realized what was happening. Somehow my mind's pain was being manifested into physical pain. My emotional pain was being manifested into spiritual pain. Every ounce of my body was slipping into a river of blood. I was barely breathing. Did you know that I cannot swim?
I knew when the world tilted that something was wrong. My saliva rushed from the back of my mouth with blazing speeds, burning the roof of my mouth, and singing the front of my teeth. The more spit I swallowed, the more the fiery fiend returned to the tip of my tongue.
My cheeks became numb from the heat, and my head began to empathize. Once warm like a loved one's soft touch, now became a pan so red from sitting on the stove... for decades and decades.
My stomach gripped with intensity, refusing to let go. It begged me to feed it knowing very well it would not be satisfied. The food would taste like poison. The slimy water would slip down my throat infesting it with toxic. Yet, what could I do when even the air I felt became thicker than Rastafarian hair. I looked at it and ate it. I ate poison.
The smell was horrid. I watched my skin as the bumps became alive. Every single pore screamed in agony. Pains from years ago resurfaced. Scars long gone reappeared. My mind and my body cried in horrific harmony. My heart knew that it was not strong enough to contain what would come.
I wanted to faint. If the pain would stop, let me faint. It did not. It became worse, forcing me to think about my actions.
I apologized. Never again will I think about hurting another human being.
If this is what it feels like to think about it, I will never put myself in a position where I will do it.
If I could hurt a man, then I am not the man I know am.
I knew when the world tilted that something was wrong. My saliva rushed from the back of my mouth with blazing speeds, burning the roof of my mouth, and singing the front of my teeth. The more spit I swallowed, the more the fiery fiend returned to the tip of my tongue.
My cheeks became numb from the heat, and my head began to empathize. Once warm like a loved one's soft touch, now became a pan so red from sitting on the stove... for decades and decades.
My stomach gripped with intensity, refusing to let go. It begged me to feed it knowing very well it would not be satisfied. The food would taste like poison. The slimy water would slip down my throat infesting it with toxic. Yet, what could I do when even the air I felt became thicker than Rastafarian hair. I looked at it and ate it. I ate poison.
The smell was horrid. I watched my skin as the bumps became alive. Every single pore screamed in agony. Pains from years ago resurfaced. Scars long gone reappeared. My mind and my body cried in horrific harmony. My heart knew that it was not strong enough to contain what would come.
I wanted to faint. If the pain would stop, let me faint. It did not. It became worse, forcing me to think about my actions.
I apologized. Never again will I think about hurting another human being.
If this is what it feels like to think about it, I will never put myself in a position where I will do it.
If I could hurt a man, then I am not the man I know am.
posted by Aceun at
10:16 PM
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