Dancing with the Idea
I had told them I would not do it. Maybe in some ways, it is because I could not do it. Even today in some ways, going back I may not do it, because I don't know if I even did it this time around.
I am perplexed by the feeling of impatience, irrationality, and incidental rage. My frown causes my forehead to wrinkle. My dimples are because of irritated lips and the most powerful yet trivially superfluous things that used to make me jump for joy for days, for weeks, for months... can only keep me going for minutes at a time. And yet, I keep on going because in my heart I reserve a special faith that it will not just come to pass. It will be miraculous.
Looking back I have sacrificed more in this past week than anything else. My struggles day to day was ensuring we all succeeded, even if people felt upset and could not see beyond the unclimbable hill. Everything was for them. I only wish I could do more. Maybe I should have done more.
Regardless, my life works because I am surrounded by people who make it work. It is rather unfortunate, that my luck is dictated by the folks who happen to be there. However, I would not be here today without their existence. And to fail to recognize that, is to fail to recognize my own. We're all in this together. Fly or swim we'll make it there together, even if I can't swim.
I do know how to fly.
I may not have done it this time around, but it's not over yet. I may not have all the skills required, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve. No matter what I say, there is one undeniable truth, I would not and could not do it.
Not alone.
I am perplexed by the feeling of impatience, irrationality, and incidental rage. My frown causes my forehead to wrinkle. My dimples are because of irritated lips and the most powerful yet trivially superfluous things that used to make me jump for joy for days, for weeks, for months... can only keep me going for minutes at a time. And yet, I keep on going because in my heart I reserve a special faith that it will not just come to pass. It will be miraculous.
Looking back I have sacrificed more in this past week than anything else. My struggles day to day was ensuring we all succeeded, even if people felt upset and could not see beyond the unclimbable hill. Everything was for them. I only wish I could do more. Maybe I should have done more.
Regardless, my life works because I am surrounded by people who make it work. It is rather unfortunate, that my luck is dictated by the folks who happen to be there. However, I would not be here today without their existence. And to fail to recognize that, is to fail to recognize my own. We're all in this together. Fly or swim we'll make it there together, even if I can't swim.
I do know how to fly.
I may not have done it this time around, but it's not over yet. I may not have all the skills required, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve. No matter what I say, there is one undeniable truth, I would not and could not do it.
Not alone.
posted by Aceun at
11:32 PM
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